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THE MANIFESTATIONS OF ANORGASMIA
If we consider the orgasm to be a kind of brain attack caused by an overload of mental and physical sensations, then anorgasmia is the deficit of these phenomena and the consequential lack of orgasm.
This disorder may affect both men and women, it may always have occurred (primary anorgasmia), or may have occurred later or in certain circumstances (secondary anorgasmia).
Not all women are able to experience an intra-vaginal orgasm, even if they have orgasms during self-eroticization or during clitoral stimulation.
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The absence of this orgasm, considered deeper and more complete, is a frequent reason for consultation, the clitoral orgasm generally being described as more superficial.
The invisibility of the symptom and the search for a sensation that is sometimes never experienced proves to complicate the diagnosis and the therapeutic process.
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- Inadequate sexual stimulation by an inexperienced, impatient, or clumsy partner.
- An insufficiently developped archaic feminine sensuality: the discovery of self-eroticism during the girl’s adolescence did not occur properly (guilty education, family that doesn’t foster tenderness and intimacy, weak libido at the start).
- Following physical or psychological trauma (molestation, rape, incest, health problems, grief, depression).
- A lack of self-confidence.
- Lack of self-esteem.
- Misunderstanding: erotic maladjustment, overwork, career, pregnancy, childbirth, conflicts.
- Pain during intercourse: vaginismus, dyspareunia, health problems, menopause, vaginal dryness.
- An absence of desire and libido.
- Premature ejaculation or partner dysfunction.
The sex therapist will first analyze the course of the stimulation during sexual interactions. Is there a form of desire and pleasure during foreplay? Are these suddenly extinguished during coitus?
To what extent does the partner’s know-how come into play? Is he a good lover capable of awakening the sensuality of his companion? Is there a loving history as well as a cohesion in the couple ?
The sexological work will lead the woman to learn to conquer or reconquer her body, both in the awakening of her senses and in the exacerbation of her femininity. She must also be convinced that she is autonomous and responsible for her own sensations, sexuality, and orgasms. She mustn’t think that the man is in charge of everything and should bring her pleasure “on a silver platter”.
Sometimes a psychotherapeutic approach is beneficial, especially if the person proves to be suffering from deep inhibitions or a neurotic personality.
The partner will be introduced to a more convincing love and erotic know-how. If he is a inexperienced, shy, passive, or if sexuality interests him less than watching sports, he will have to make a profound change if he wants to help his wife and his couple.